Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Things We Do For Love ♥


Isn’t it funny when you can look back on a time in your life and think… Wow. As if I did that?! Seriously, what was I thinking??? Was I on something??? I actually feel embarrassed for myself!
Now, I’m not talking about drunken nights with your friends. Sorry, wrong blog. I’m talking about something a little deeper than that. I’m thinking more along the lines of the time you went over to the young girl crying at the bus stop and told her that Jesus loves her. I’m talking about the time that you went out on a limb to offer your elderly neighbour a lift to Mass when you were supposed to go for coffee with your friend. Do you catch my drift yet?? I’m talking about being drunk on love. A love for our God that makes you do crazy things beyond your ‘normal’ way of going about daily life.
I can think of several of these moments off the bat and most of them have been significant and pivotal points for me. So, for those of you who know me personally, I know you’re thinking… what have I done that is so crazy? Well to be honest, I haven’t done a lot of truly wild things, just things that are far out of my comfort zone. (And don’t judge me because I am usually very boring and tame so some of these things are wildly outrageous for me!) J
For instance, I am an extreme introvert. I don’t like crowds. I don’t particularly like socialising. Being around too many people for too long a period of time sends me bonkers. I am not a fan of sharing my heart to people outside of my immediate circle of friends and I do not under any circumstances welcome the opportunity to speak in front of people with open arms.  And yet, I have seen myself do the contrary more and more frequently that it kind of startles me.  
I cannot explain giving talks in front of large groups of people, running prayer nights with my peers, praying aloud with my boyfriend, extending my circle of friends far beyond anything I have ever been comfortable with, sharing intimate stories with strangers, telling people in the street that I will pray for them, dancing with my arms open in praise for God and writing a personal blog online for the whole world to read. (Yes. In case you thought  writing this blog came easily for me, think again.)
I know that the desire to do these things comes from my love of God. And the ability to reach out of my comfort zone and grow is only through God’s great love for me! It is my great love for God that makes me go coo-coo and forget the butterflies in my stomach. It makes me brush off all the fears I have that are holding me back because God is so much greater than anything I am anxious about.
So, okay I haven’t jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch proclaiming my love for Jesus! But, I have stretched myself far beyond anything I ever thought I was capable of, and now have many ‘what was I thinking’ moments. I’m still not sure what I was thinking most of the time. But I am certain of what I was feeling. A burning love and a fire inside of me that made me do some crazy things for the one I love!!
And some wise words from my boyfriend that I replay in my head when I am faced with stepping out of my comfort zone to bring people to Christ….
“Fear knocks on the door. Faith opens it and nothing is there.”
Works like a charm!! ;-)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Fasting Forward


I love food. Anybody who knows me can testify to this. I love eating out and trying new cuisines, I love baking and licking the bowl, I especially like raw cookie dough, I love eating chocolate while watching a movie, I love adapting and tweaking new recipes and I love to eat Nutella by the spoonful. Quite simply, I love to indulge in food. Especially chocolate. Eating for me is both comforting and pleasurable.
So, it should come as no surprise that I have never been keen on fasting. I have convinced myself many times that it is simply ‘not for me’, and that it makes me frustrated and irritable, and hence defeats the intended purpose. Any attempt to abstain from certain foods or fast during Lent has almost always been a fail. I was always better at breaking my fast than sticking to it!   
I have been made aware of many books and writings on fasting over the years which I have sometimes skimmed over but never really payed much attention to. Recently, I was reading Becoming Fire, written by Fr. Ken Barker mgl. This book is predominantly NOT about fasting so I was open to it. J I was very taken by the chapter written on ‘Dealing with the Flesh.’ It read:
“Some people think that the answer to life is ‘doing what comes naturally.’ More than often this means following one’s flesh inclination! We are fallen human beings… which means we are in constant battle with the flesh… You cannot belong to Christ Jesus unless you crucify all self-indulgent passions and desires.” Galations 5:24.
The battle with the flesh is essentially a battle against self-glorification and self-sufficiency. To live in the Spirit we must learn to master our inclination towards our immediate desires and our inherent drive to selfishness.
All of the above takes practice. To be governed by the Spirit means to renounce some of our fundamental desires and passions and this is not easy. This is where fasting comes in. Fasting is a way of training ourselves to be governed not by our flesh but by the Spirit. It turns out I was right to begin with… Fasting really ‘wasn’t for me.’ It wasn’t for me because it didn’t come naturally and it wasn’t easy. But this is precisely why it is effective.
People fast all the time for dieting purposes. Think of a detox. What is the purpose of a detox? To cleanse your system and eliminate waste. Well, fasting can be seen as a spiritual detox. Through fasting, we renounce our own desires and instead focus on God. In taking our eyes off things of this world, we are more open to the Spirit. We are humbled in our awareness of how much we long for God and how vulnerable we are. Through ‘emptying’ ourselves we recognise our deepest yearning for God.
"I humbled my soul with fasting" Psalm 35:13.
But don’t just think of fasting as abstaining from food. Everyone can give up something for a period of time to focus more on God. Even closing facebook for a while or turning off the television are forms of fasting. Just remember that fasting is about developing a lifestyle of self-denial and humility before God. Fasting may not be for you… But God certainly is and He longs for greater union with you. So be open to discovering ways of letting Him in! And believe me, if I can do it... You can!
Happy Fasting!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Stop and Thank Our God

Dearest God,

I want to thank You for what you have already done.
I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until I feel better or the pain goes away; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until I hear the words 'I'm sorry' or people change their ways; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now.
I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now.
I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now.
I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed; I am thanking you right now.
I am thanking you because I am alive.
I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties.
I am thanking you because I have overcome the obstacles.
I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.  


I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.