So, I’m sitting here writing this at almost
38 weeks pregnant. I would normally be asleep at this hour, but the typical
discomforts associated with pregnancy have defeated my will to sleep yet again.
I have given up trying to fight it this morning. I will nana-nap later. I am
sure of it.
I bet you like hearing about how
uncomfortable I am. Not for any narcissistic reason, but simply because as a
culture we seem to be drawn to negative conversation, negative ideas, negative
opinions. I know this because the most
common line said to me by close friends and strangers alike of late has been
“Oh my gosh, you must be sooo over it” and “you must just want it out already!”
My response?... Um, no actually. I’m not. And
I don’t.
Why are we so fixated on the negative? Why
do so many women claim to hate being pregnant? To truly dread the
experience? Are they simply allowing the 'back-ne', the swelling and the cramps
turn the beautiful and mysterious experience of carrying their very own flesh
and blood into something to despise?
I love being pregnant. There, I said it! I
love it. I love it. And I have never been as fulfilled by anything else in my
life.
Women tsk when I say this. “Well,
you’re lucky. You’ve had it easy” they say. Or, “You’ve just had a ‘good’
pregnancy.” Right?! How exactly is a good pregnancy defined? By a sufferer of
gestational diabetes, carpel tunnel syndrome, morning sickness and restless
legs (and believe me, the list goes on)? I think not.
But the reality is, I choose to
love being pregnant. Like anything else in life, we choose how to respond, we
choose to be happy, we choose to overcome, and we make a choice to love.
It is disappointing that so many women
chose to adopt the thinking that their pregnancy is a burden; that the changes
to their bodies are something to reject.
But as women, we have an inner strength. We
are made to nurture and to bring forth life. We are made as beautiful and
mysterious creatures to captivate and astound.
Pregnancy brings to life the essence of a
woman. There is a great beauty to behold when we see a woman carrying her child
in her womb. The image we love. The reality so many are afraid
of.
Why have so many women adopted a fear of
being pregnant? Myself included. I was terrified of having a baby. For many
years, the thought of being pregnant made me nervous, because I was being fed
ideas that led me to think that my body would become an out of control,
hormonal race track - That I would turn into a fat, tired monster and be cranky
for the next 40 weeks. Yes, if I sat back and gave into my fears, I could be
all of these things (just ask my husband)!
But there is strength in overcoming the new,
and sometimes uncomfortable changes taking place in your body. We are spiritual
beings and have the will to overcome our raw bodily feelings and frustrations.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I thank God that I didn’t allow my fears to
overcome me, and that my husband and I chose to embrace the gift of life and
allow the Lord to bless us with a child.
I am healthy, I am beautiful, I am radiant.
I am strong, I am fearless, and I have hope. I am a mother, a nurturer and a
wife. I am a pregnant woman. A woman perfected.
