"I know you have your reasons for everything so I will keep believing… I know that you can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust you. No matter what."
In the greater scheme of things, I trust God. I know that He has a plan for me and that He is by my side. Always. I know this, I really do. I tell people this all the time. But in the midst of my hardships and pain, some of these thoughts go out the window. I sometimes doubt God’s promises to me and sometimes I feel quite alone. I fail to recognise that the hand of God plays a part in my heartache (unless the direct purpose of God’s plan for my suffering hits me in right the face. Which, let’s face it, generally isn’t God’s way of working!)
Listen to the song above if you feel so inclined. It makes some really important points. Several actually. But these ones were important to me:
“I know that you can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, I’ll trust you. No matter what.”
“Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s ok if You don’t… no matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You.”
These lyrics point to something I needed to remind myself of – That even if God allows suffering and pain in my life, I’m still going to love Him. I’m still going to trust Him and continue to call upon Him. And I should because His promises never fail.
I realised that if I pray to God to watch over me and keep me safe, and if I ask Him to help me to grow closer to Him, then why do I reject and question what comes next in my life just because it happens to be something I don’t like, something that hurts or is just too hard? Don’t I trust that what hand I’ve been dealt is the one that is going to answer all my prayers???? "Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through your hands." So if I trust your love for me, why do I keep questioning the purpose of my suffering? And why do I get angry when there is pain in my life? Surely, by your promises I should see that it is all in your plan to make me the wonderful person you truly want me to be.
I suppose it’s about surrendering in the hard times and asking God’s light to shine in the midst of my pain. Without His light, it can be so lonely and so difficult to pull through.
So, like the songs says…
"I’m running back to your promises one more time. Lord, that’s all I can hold on to...."
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