Isn’t it funny when you can look back on a time in your life and think… Wow. As if I did that?! Seriously, what was I thinking??? Was I on something??? I actually feel embarrassed for myself!
Now, I’m not talking about drunken nights with your friends. Sorry, wrong blog. I’m talking about something a little deeper than that. I’m thinking more along the lines of the time you went over to the young girl crying at the bus stop and told her that Jesus loves her. I’m talking about the time that you went out on a limb to offer your elderly neighbour a lift to Mass when you were supposed to go for coffee with your friend. Do you catch my drift yet?? I’m talking about being drunk on love. A love for our God that makes you do crazy things beyond your ‘normal’ way of going about daily life.
I can think of several of these moments off the bat and most of them have been significant and pivotal points for me. So, for those of you who know me personally, I know you’re thinking… what have I done that is so crazy? Well to be honest, I haven’t done a lot of truly wild things, just things that are far out of my comfort zone. (And don’t judge me because I am usually very boring and tame so some of these things are wildly outrageous for me!) J
For instance, I am an extreme introvert. I don’t like crowds. I don’t particularly like socialising. Being around too many people for too long a period of time sends me bonkers. I am not a fan of sharing my heart to people outside of my immediate circle of friends and I do not under any circumstances welcome the opportunity to speak in front of people with open arms. And yet, I have seen myself do the contrary more and more frequently that it kind of startles me.
I cannot explain giving talks in front of large groups of people, running prayer nights with my peers, praying aloud with my boyfriend, extending my circle of friends far beyond anything I have ever been comfortable with, sharing intimate stories with strangers, telling people in the street that I will pray for them, dancing with my arms open in praise for God and writing a personal blog online for the whole world to read. (Yes. In case you thought writing this blog came easily for me, think again.)
I know that the desire to do these things comes from my love of God. And the ability to reach out of my comfort zone and grow is only through God’s great love for me! It is my great love for God that makes me go coo-coo and forget the butterflies in my stomach. It makes me brush off all the fears I have that are holding me back because God is so much greater than anything I am anxious about.
So, okay I haven’t jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch proclaiming my love for Jesus! But, I have stretched myself far beyond anything I ever thought I was capable of, and now have many ‘what was I thinking’ moments. I’m still not sure what I was thinking most of the time. But I am certain of what I was feeling. A burning love and a fire inside of me that made me do some crazy things for the one I love!!
And some wise words from my boyfriend that I replay in my head when I am faced with stepping out of my comfort zone to bring people to Christ….
“Fear knocks on the door. Faith opens it and nothing is there.”
Works like a charm!! ;-)
Hi Lianna, I really loved what you said. Thank you for having the courage - just one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit - for sharing this in your blog. You come across as a confident and out-going young woman so it is a surprise to know that writing your blog sees you leaping out of your comfort zone. I guess this is a directive from God, a direct result of "Letting go and letting God". I am a firm believer that the Holy Spirit guides us and even though we may not know where or why we're headed, how awesome is it that God is the Pilot and not us. Just buckle up and settle back for the flight...but do take note of the safety demo! Blessings and keep up the Good Work. By the way, your boyfriend sounds like a keeper ;)
ReplyDeleteWe commemorate the Lord's Supper in the celebration of the Holy Eucharist, wherein our Lord Jesus Christ, himself offers His own Body and Blood and Divinity for us to partake, for the forgiveness of our sins. Lord Jesus, thank you for inviting us all to come to you...that you may bring us closer to Your Heavenly Father, and have a share in Your Sacred Banquet , which is our only hope to gain eternal life.
ReplyDelete